The Approach of Different Religions to the Same Philosophical Conundrum

Taoism:        "Shit happens."
Confucianism:  "Confucius say 'Shit happens.'"
Buddhism:      "If shit happens, it isn't really shit."
Zen:           "What is the sound of shit happening?  If shit happens, and no 
                one sees or hears it, does it still happen?"
Hinduism:      "This shit has happened before."
Islam:         "If shit happens, it is Allah's Will."
Protestantism: "Let shit happen to someone else."
Catholicism:   "If shit happens, you deserved it."
Judaism:       "Why does shit always happen to us?"