1>Ralph's Observation:
	It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize
	that you are in a hurry.

2>Cole's Law:
	Thinly sliced cabbage.

3>Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

4>Manly's Maxim:
	Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong 
	conclusion with confidence.

5>Finagle's Laws:
	1.No matter what the experiment's results, there will
	always be someone eager to:
	 (a) misinterpret it
	 (b) fake it
	 or
	 (c) believe it supports his own theory.

	2.If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

	3.In any collection of data, the figure most obviosly
	correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.

	4.Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it
	only makes it worse.

6>Ginsberg's Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
	You can't win.
	You can't break even.
	You can't quit.

7>Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics:
	Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is
        to use a bigger can.

8>Interchangable parts won't

9>Laws of Computer Programming:
 1.Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
 2.Any given program costs more and takes longer.
 3.If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
 4.If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
 5.Any given program will expand to fill available memory.
 6.The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
 7.Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capabilities of the
   programmer who must maintain it.
 8.Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.
 9.Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable
   errors, which by definition are limited.
 10.Adding man power to a late software project makes it later.
 11.Don't drink beer and program at the same time.

10>Anthony's Law of Force:
	Don't force it-get a bigger hammer.

11>Gordon's First Law:
	If a project is not worth doing at all, 
	it's not worth doing well.

12>You can lead a man to slaughter,
   but you can't make him think.

13>You can lead a horticulture, 
   but you can't make her think.

14>Mark's Mark:
	Love is a matter of chemistry;
	Sex is a matter of physics.

15>Maugham's Thought:
	Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

16>Schmidt's Observation:
	All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a
	thin person.

17>Murphy's Corollary:
	It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools
	are so ingenious.

18>Lowery's Law:
	If it jams-force it.
	If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

19>Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is 
   in trouble again.

20>Rule of Accuracy:
	When working towards the solution of a problem, it always helps 
        if you know the answer.

21>Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.

22>The First Myth of Management:
	It exists.

23>Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

24>Segal's Law:
	A man with a watch knows what time it is.
	A man with two watches is never sure.

25>Weinberg's Second Law:
	If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, 
	the first wood pecker to come along would destoy civilization.	

26>Hartley's Second Law:
	Never go to bed with anybody crazier than you are.

27>Beckhap's Law:
	Beauty times brains equals a constant.

28>Coles Axiom: 
	The sum of the intellegence on the planet is a constant;
	the population is growing.

29>Viques Law:
	A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle.

30>Churchill's Commentary on Man:
	Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time 
	he will pick himself up and continue on.

31>The First Law of Wing Walking:
	Never let hold of what you've got until you've got hold of 
        something else.

32>Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will 
   happen to you the rest of the day.

33>Grossman's Misquote:
	Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

34>Perkin's Postulate:
	The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

35>Harrison's Postulate:
	For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

36>First Law of Laboratory Work:
	Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

37>Handy Guide to Modern Science:
     1.If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
     2.If it stinks, it's chemistry.
     3.If it doesn't work, it's physics.

38>Never attribute to malice that which is adequatly explained by 
   stupidity.

39>Allen's Distinction:
	The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't 
        get much sleep.

40>Avery's Observation:
	It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up 
	something from the floor while you get up.

41>Fourth Law of Thermodynamics:
	If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is 
	damned near zero.

42>Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
     1.An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
     2.An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

43>Jone's Principle:
	Needs are a function of what other people have.

44>If you can keep you head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe 
   you just don't understand the sitation.

45>Sevareid's Law:
	The chief cause of problems is solutions.

46>Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

47>Gerrold's Law:
	A little ignorance can go a long way.

48>Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

49>The more you run over a dead cat the flatter it gets.

50>Murphy's Military Laws:
     1.Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
     2.No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
     3.Friendly fire aint.
     4.The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a
       map and compass.
     5.The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has 
       already mined it.
     6.The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy 
       somebody else to shoot at.
     7.The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more 
       likely your artillery will shoot short.
     8.Incoming fire has the right of way.
     9.If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
    10.The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
    11.If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
    12.The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on 
       abandoned positions.
    13.The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming 
       friendly fire.
    14.There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot 
       at you, and miss.
    15.Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the 
       combat zone it draws sergeants.
    16.If your sergeant can see you so can the enemy.
    17.Always remember, your weapon is made by the company who submitted 
       the lowest bid.